Saturday, 17 June 2017

very funny English and hindi jokes

very funny hindi and english jokes



Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes
a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
😁😁😁😁😁😁

Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
😁😁😁😁😁😁

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
😁😁😁😁😁😁

Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.
😁😁😁😁😁😁

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
😁😁😁😁😁😁

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
😁😁😁😁😁😁


Bap: Tumhari abhi pitai karti ho nakhoon(nails) kyu nahei katay?
Beta: Mmm… main toh subha roz kattaa ho par van ka driver itni slow drive karta hai ke rastay mein hi nails bar jatay hai.

😁😁😁😁😁😁



Murad ek larki ko dekh ke bola: Lafz tere geet mere! Gazal koi suna du kya?
😁😁😁😁😁😁

Murad se Larki: Haath mere gaal tere! Kaan ke neeche bajaun kya?
😁😁😁😁😁😁


Hindi Joke in English
Rohan & Mohan were sitting in a kabristan & were talking.
Rohan: Mohan, dekho yeh murde kitne aaraam se apni kabron mein sote hai.
Sare murde uth khare hue aur bole: Kyun na soye, yeh jaga apni jaan de ke hasil kee hai..!
😁😁😁😁😁😁


Dumb Rubel Joke
Rubel apni lover se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye rannaghar pe chali gayi.
Lover ke mobile sofa pe dekh kar Rubel ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?
Dear, sweety ya jaanu!
Jab usne misscall di to screen pe likh raha tha “Murga No.5? Calling!!!”.
😁😁😁😁😁😁



Parul (naukrani) ne Parul se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.
Parul Naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chup chap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne pucha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?
Parul: Nahi uske liye teen hi kafi hai.
😁😁😁😁😁😁


Laugh out Loud Hindi Joke
Habildar: Tumhe kal subah 6 baje pe phansi di jayegi.
Liton: Ha ha ha!
Habildar: Kyu hass rahe ho?
Liton: Main toh subha 9 baje tak sota hoon!
😁😁😁😁😁😁

Father Son Hindi Joke
Bap:Oxygen is must for Breathing . It was discovered in 1773.
Beta:Thank God I was born after that .Pehle Paida hota to mar hi jata .😁😁😁😁😁😁


Santa kee Wife Romantic Mood mein thee. Woh poore Bed par baahen failaakar let gai aur arth bhari muskaan ke saath boli – “kuchh samjhe… ?”
Santa bola – “Samajh gaya … too aaj poore bed pe akeli sona chahti hai ……. hai na ?” 😁😁😁😁😁😁

WIFE – “suna hai swarg mein Pati-Patni ko saath nahi rahne dete … ?”
Husband – “Pagli … iseeliye to use SWARG kahte hain … !!!”
😁😁😁😁😁😁

Santa – “maine 2 shaadiyan kee lekin dono hi baar meri kismat footi nikli … ”
Banta – “woh kaise ?”
Santa – “pahli wali mujhe chhodkar chali gai aur doosri wali mujhe chhodkar jaana nahi chahti … !”
😁😁😁😁😁😁

Santa – “Yaar mai apni wife kee yaad-daasht se bahut pareshaan hoon …”
Banta – “kyon ? kya woh har baat bhool jaati hai ?”
Santa – “nahi … balki woh koi bhi baat bhoolti hi nahi hai !!!”

😁😁😁😁😁😁
Santa kee nai-nai shaadi hui thee phir bhi use ghar jaane ki koi jaldi nahi hoti. Woh der tak office mein hee baitha rahta.
One day Boss asked – “wife se jhagda chal rahaa hai kya ?”
Santa replied – “no no sir … aisee koi baat nahi ! baat ye hai ki meri wife bhi job karti hai isliye hum dono mein jo bhi pahle ghar pahunchta hai, khana use hi banaanaa padta hai !”
😁😁😁😁😁😁

plz share and watch all my very funny English and Hindi jokes


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